I’ve been feeling so stressed out lately, to the point where I don’t know what’s causing my stress. My grades are good, my feedbacks are good. Nothing is wrong on the surface level, but I wake up tired and feeling like poop. For weeks, I’ve had this headache that won’t go away.
I wonder if I’m unconsiously depressed. I can’t think of anything that is wrong with my life right now. Everything is perfect. Everyone is nice. Yet, I find myself wanting to go to sleep even when I’m not really tired (sorry, this is odd typing it out).
My diet has been good because I’ve been working out to gain muscle, and I’ve been really conscious about eating food that is packed with protein. I get 8 hours of sleep every night, too.
Sigh. I hate being in a slump. I hope it gets better!😦
It sickens me greatly that the person I want to talk to never talks to me, and the person I prefer not to talk to tries to interact with me every chance he gets. Facebook is becoming more of a hassle in that I’m forced to be friends with these two people through mutual friends and proximity (like what if I block them, and I run into them somewhere)? It is wrong to blame them for how things turned out to be, but I can’t ignore the fact that they both represent a toxic presence in my life that only makes me sad.
I feel trapped by the memories of my interactions with these two people, and honestly, I want to get away. It’s not something I think about every second of every day, but when school is not so busy, I end up feeling either lonely or annoyed.
So thankful for my close friend during these trying times.
I was in a terrible slump, but after one phone call from one of my favorite people I feel so much better. I wish all of my friends can come visit me in Washington at the same time – it would do me so much good to be surrounded by positive vibes right now.
I’m going to try to go to the gym tomorrow. It’s been awhile since I’ve gone running (or done any exercise). I need to refresh my mind, and remind myself that worrying about things beyond my control is a waste of time.
I’m really excited about tomorrow because I have a meeting with my program director about where I want to do my internship (and also practicum!)
I was thinking of doing both in the Seattle area, but the practicum might be at a local school because I will still be taking classes at Central during the Winter and Spring quarters.
My parents want me to do an internship somewhere in Central/Eastern Washington (particularly my mom) because she is just in LOVE with small towns! She wants to visit Leavenworth, for instance, if I were to land an internship there.
Sigh. I love new beginnings. I can’t wait to talk to my director about my internship options tomorrow. Apparently, there is a high demand for school psych internship positions everywhere in the state (paid or unpaid, that is a whole different issue) so I will have a lot of places to choose from. Eeeee!😀
Me: “Dad, I got invited to an award ceremony for my good grades”
Dad: “How many people are going?”
Me: “Idk. But it’s for having a 3.5 GPA or higher so probably a lot”
Dad: “Pfffff. 3.5”
There are two things in the world I want more than anything right now:
An iPad Pro (coming out in November!!) and a corgi.
My life will be complete once I acquire these two things. I’m planning to purchase the iPad Pro as soon as it is released because my laptop is dying, but the corgi will have to wait until I finish grad school.
One of the advantages of working at Disney over the summer is that you learn how to balance your time better. Especially with a seasonal position (clocking in at almost 60 hours a week), you really need to be conscientious of the time you have everyday.
I got back to Washington not too long ago, and I’ve already been super productive. It’s easy to fall into the trap of taking a nap here (the weather is SO beautiful, and everything is so calm and serene). But thanks to Disney, I was able to prevent myself from dozing off; it’s only been two days, but I knocked off a lot of things on my to-do list, and I feel so proud of myself.
I start school next week. I honestly don’t know how I feel about this – a part of me will miss being on break, but another part of me really wants to get this grad school thing over and done with.